Due Date

When I was younger I loved looking up at the night sky and waiting to see a shooting star.  My childhood home had a huge, quite backyard and I remember on summer nights I would lay on our trampoline and listen to the beauty of nature around me and watch for those shooting stars.  When I did see them the were always fast, an unexpected, but they were so beautiful and exciting.  Even though they they were gone in a second I still got so much joy from them.

Today was my due date.  These days are some of the hardest for me because it is supposed to be the day that your life changes for the better, but it just a normal day and a reminder of what you have lost.  I am trying to be more uplifting and positive in my life.  If I didn't have my first miscarriage then Truman would not be a part of our wonderful lives, that first loss taught me so much and has guided my life in a new direction.  That first loss was so hard for me but countless blessings have come from it.  This second loss was also extremely hard, but I know that there is so much beauty to come.

Each of these pregnancies were a shooting star in my personal life, these angel babies are my shooting stars.  They were something that I wanted and waited for, they were beautiful and exciting but over before I cold fully appreciate them.  I wanted to do something to honor these beautiful moments in my life. 

 You know the scene in The Lion King when Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa are laying and looking at the stars?  Simba says, "Somebody once told me that the great kings of the past are up there watching us."  I have always thought that was such a beautiful sentiment.  And now that I am older I have a better understanding and testimony of our eternal lives.  Our lives as Kings and Queens, sons and daughters living with our Heavenly Father.  

I have been holding onto these pregnancies as memories, often times they are sad memories, but I needed something physical and something happy.  Something that I could look at each day and be reminded of the beauty of those lives that I held.These are my shooting stars and I am learning to be grateful everyday for the beauty they are in my life.